Monday, January 28, 2013
Isn't it time to change, Dad?
I see it as I apply for child care positions in and around the Portland, Oregon/Multnomah County area. There is a subtle, yet disturbing complexity and even more upsetting simplicity to the thought that men weren't made to care for children in a professional environment, nevertheless a personal environment. It saddens me, and yet, doesn't truly surprise me. Not yet at least.
It's easy to assume that when dad is at home, he is dad. Play with the children at his leisure Make sure there is bread to toast in the morning, that his coffee is sitting beside him when he wakes up. Don't bother him if he's in the garage because he is dad. These are mild examples of how the western world thinks of the male figure in the household environment. That's not to say that it is like that everywhere in this country. It is a pretty standard and prevalent thought pattern that has developed, and I only blame one person. Dad.
Not my dad, persay. Not your dad. But dads everywhere. It's our fault, guys. We didn't stop this assumption from taking place, and now it's our duty to oversee it's deconstruction and rebuild the world's eyes from the ground up.
Ever since we asked "What's for dinner, dear?", we played into the almighty contraption. One that speaks volumes about our negligence in the homestead, and even more so, towards our partners and children. We have allowed our partners to take the brunt of our bad days, and yet still tend to our needs, our children's needs and the needs of their employers, not to mention the rest of the world, as well. Did we ever come to think what their world would look like were they to just "let go" and tell us exactly what they were thinking, all the time? I don't have a keyboard sturdy enough to exercise all that would entail in that conversation, but I can assure you.....it probably wouldn't be pretty.
All in all, we are responsible for what we have done to our reputations as men and dads. We need to stand up & take charge of our selves in such a manner that we are able to bend and flex, for the greater good of our children, our relationships with them, as well as those with our partners.
Flowers do not say you are sorry. Band-aids do not say they will heal. Action, and being pro-active in our lives. These lives we have created. This is what will move the restrictions of what we have constructed. We stood around for so long, waiting to be served upon. Hand and foot. For ages it's happened. And it is time for change to occur, for the benefit of all human beings. Being sensitive to the needs of all beings does not mean we are less than men. It means we are whole men.
I, for one, have began the change in myself. I look forward to meeting more complex cavedads out there that have began this change, for the greater good of the leaders of tomorrow. They deserve and desire our masculine energy, just as much as our feminine counterparts.